I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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