i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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