Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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