Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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