I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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