Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
