my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
