so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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