that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
