I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
