The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
