I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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