only you would photoshop your dick
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
