Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
