the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
