I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
3pm strippers are depressing
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
