He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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