My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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