I'm eating all of the evidence.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
