I got chris browned last night
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
and you fell through a lawn chair
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
