Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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