she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
