Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
