just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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