Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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