My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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