i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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