end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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