Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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