i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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