So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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