Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
