just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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