she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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