Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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