Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize