I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
