My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
