I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
