we made out on top of his cat.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
