when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
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I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
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I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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