I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
