Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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