I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
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I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
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Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding