I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I would fuck him just for his dog
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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