Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
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I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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