Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
