Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
