8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I am mentally ready for anal.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
