You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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