erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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