what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
