Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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