Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
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