you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
