Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I party with great urgency now.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
