I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize